Is this love or an inability to let go?

I can’t remember why I love you. I mean, I think I love you. I used to love you. That I know for sure.

 

I keep trying to make it work, keep trying to fix ‘us’. I tell myself I try despite disappointment after disappointment because I love you. That’s what we do for love. We try.

 

I can’t pinpoint what it is that I get from this relationship anymore. I used to feel loved and special. I used to feel secure and safe. I trusted you.  Now I question everything. Do you even care anymore? Are you keeping things from me? How often do you lie?

 

The answers to those questions are probably irrelevant as this stage. The fact I ask them says it all really. Our relationship is tainted by looming suspicion.

 

So why do I continue to stay? Why do I keep reaching out? I think I hope you’ll reach out back. Show that you care. Help me find the connection that was once there.

 

Does it feel as empty to you as it does to me? Are you feeling this too? Or blissfully unaware?